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Funny Poems/
Secondary Schools

By Josie Whitehead

Really Posh New Loos.jpg

By Josie Whitehead

Really Posh New Loos

I’m tired of using public loos  

That smell of unwashed floors and poos,

      So come with me; we’ll look elsewhere.  

      The loos we'll use, we’ll choose with care.


When you visit any town,  

Look out for hotels of renown.

     I’ll tell you what you could expect:  

     The loos which show you some respect.


 YOU'LL find:  


The latest toilet seats are warm.

Enjoy their comfort, then perform.

     Press 'bidet' if you want to wash.   

     'My word,' you’ll think: 'this loo is posh!'


Press 'wash' and water comes out racing  

And leaves your bottom feeling bracing.

     You then press 'dry' and hot air blows  

     On parts of you that are exposed.


New-fangled loos, though futuristic, 

Are not designed to be simplistic.

     'Paperless?' Yes, that’s the word,  

      But . . . .  will you find them quite absurd?

Copyright on all my poems

This is a toilet-bidet - and where did I see it?  In a hotel in Tokyo where I broke my return journey back from Australia.  I believe you can buy these in many countries now though.                                                         


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