top of page
Gradient Pastel Sky

JOSIE'S POEMS

HOW TO GET ON IN SOCIETY

By John Betjeman

and:Do Come for Tea, Dear by . . . . Josie 

Afternoon Tea

HOW TO GET ON IN SOCIETY
 
By John Betjeman

Phone for the fish knives, Norman
    As cook is a little unnerved;
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
     And I must have things daintily served.

​

Are the requisites all in the toilet?
    The frills round the cutlets can wait
Till the girl has replenished the cruets
    And switched on the logs in the grate.

​

It's ever so close in the lounge dear,
    But the vestibule's comfy for tea
And Howard is riding on horseback
     So do come and take some with me.

​

Now here is a fork for your pastries
     And do use the couch for your feet;
I know that I wanted to ask you-
    Is trifle sufficient for sweet?

​

Milk and then just as it comes dear?
    I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones;
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys
     With afternoon teacakes and *scones.
​​​​​​

​

* scones  - pronounced either scOnes or scons - a heavy O in the south of England and a light o in the midlands and north. Of course, for rhyming you have to use the heavy O in this poem.  John Beteman was born and grew up in London, in the south of England.  I come from the Midlands, so it's scons (scones) for me.

I'd have to say: 


 

        Tea with some milk or without, dear?

              Oh do have a nice home-made scone.

          You may like some strawberry jam on it,

                But it looks like the butter’s all gone.

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

bottom of page