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Christmas Story-Poems

By Josie Whitehead

Truth About Santa (The) .jpg


By Josie Whitehead

Truth About Santa (The)

I’m a businessman,’ Santa Claus muttered
      As he glanced in his long looking glass:
‘And a businessman needs decent clothing –
      And my red suit is scruffy, alas.’

‘I’m a businessman,’ Santa repeated:
 ‘Who else would wear clothes such as these?’
And he looked at the smartly-dressed salesman:
 ‘I want clothes just like yours, if you please.’

The salesman brought out some smart clothing:
     ‘This suit I can well recommend!
It is stylish yet practical also,
     And this year it’s for certain the trend.

Well as quick as a flash Santa tried it:
      He certainly looked very smart.

‘As a businessman,’ said the young salesman,
     ‘I agree!  You look more of the part.’

So the suit was exchanged for the old one
      And the barber was Santa’s next call:
‘Get rid of my silly old beard now!
      I don’t want a beard – not at all!’

‘I need a new hairstyle,’ said Santa.
     ‘Take your razor and cut off the lot,’
But he thought of the cold winter weather 
     And for certain it wouldn’t be hot.

‘Well here’s an idea,’ said the barber:
      ‘Why deliver those toys in the cold?
It’s a job for a much younger person –
     And, quite honestly, you’re getting old.’

‘You’re right,’ Santa said without pausing.
     ‘I’ll go on the web, like the rest
And then, in my rather posh office,
     I really should look at my best!’

So don’t expect Santa with reindeer:
     Your presents will come in his van,
Whilst, relaxed in an opulent office,
     Sits a stylishly-dressed businessman.

Copyright on all my poems

Is this a true story?   Oh no, no, no.  Of course it's not.

Santa has your name on his list and will be delivering your presents in the normal way.  You wait and see.


Opulent:  Ostentatiously costly and luxurious.

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