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JOSIE'S POEMS
Funny Poems
By Josie Whitehead
Note: Sellars Salve (for all wounds) was the invention of my husband's great grandmother, and in fact, it didn't do all the things in my poem, ie used for growing hair!! hmm. A poet is entitled to turn a tin of cream into a poem, but nevertheless it was famous and much sought-after. On the right above is the real top of the tin.
GRANNY SELLARS'
MAGIC SALVE
By Josie Whitehead
Bruises, cuts and septic wounds,
Swollen glands, dog bites;
Blisters, bunions, scalds and boils -
And bruises after fights.
Well, Granny Sellars’ Magic Salve
Is just the thing you need.
Squeeze from the tube and rub it on
And do this with some speed.
Granny Sellars’ Magic Salve
Is good for thinning hair.
It’s also good for wrinkly skin
But use it with some care.
One woman that I heard about
Rubbed salve upon her chest.
‘And did it cure her chesty cough?’
‘Well she was not impressed!’
When next day she began to dress,
She had a huge surprise,
And from her bathroom, loud and clear
Came very anguished cries.
Her chest was coated thick with hair
But it hadn’t stopped at that,
For hair was spreading thick and fast
And covered all her back.
So when you use this Magic Salve
Just take a little care.
You could look like a monkey does
With a body full of hair.
Copyright on all my poems
