Bleezer's Ice Cream Parlour
LUCKY TO BE ALIVE
By Josie Whitehead
Dear Ebenezer Bleezer
I sampled ice cream from your freezer.
Your twenty eight divine creations
Were viewed by me with admiration.
But after eating them:
The cocoa mocha macaroni
Was tasted by my little pony,
It made her sick; we called the vet
But she soon died, I much regret.
The checkerberry chedder chew –
A flavour which to me was new -
Brought out pimples on my nose,
And caused some curling of the toes.
The Lobster Litchi Lima Bean –
(Oh such a lovely shade of green) -
Though quite delicious to the taste
Added inches to my waist.
I’m sure you didn’t mean to harm me
With almond ham meringue salami,
But how I suffered indigestion –
‘Twas the ice cream, without question.
The sassafras souvlaki hash
Though served with some potato mash,
Was yucky, mucky – sickening, foul –
It even caused my dog to howl!
Your butter brickle pepper pickle
Caused my bottom soon to tickle,
I scratched all day, I scratched all night,
It must have looked a frightful sight.
The Peanut Pumpkin Bubblegum
Got tangled up inside my tum.
An ambulance was quickly called
And doctors were all quite appalled.
A surgeon came and scratched his head
'It’s a miracle that she’s not dead.
Bubblegum could likely prove
Quite a hard thing to remove.'
I’m glad to say that I’ve survived!
I’m home again and still alive.
But have to tell you Mr Bleezer,
I want no more ice cream from your freezer!
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