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F U N N Y    P O E M S -

By Josie Whitehead


See: BLEEZER'S ICE CREAM.  This is my reply.


By Josie Whitehead

Lucky to be Alive

Dear Ebenezer Bleezer:

I sampled ice cream from your freezer.

     Your twenty eight divine creations
     Were viewed by me with admiration - -

But after eating them:

The cocoa mocha macaroni
Was tasted by my little pony,
     It made her sick; we called the vet
     But she soon died, I much regret.

The checkerberry cheddar chew,
A flavour which to me was new,
    Brought out pimples on my nose,
    And caused some curling of the toes.

The Lobster Litchi Lima Bean –
(Oh such a lovely shade of green) -
     Though quite delicious to the taste,
     Added inches to my waist.
I’m sure you didn’t mean to harm me
With almond ham meringue salami,
     But how I suffered indigestion.
     ‘Twas the ice cream, without question.
The sassafras souvlaki hash,
Though served with some potato mash,
     Was yucky, mucky, sickening, foul!!!
      It even caused my dog to howl!

Your butter brickle pepper pickle
Caused my bottom soon to tickle.
     I scratched all day; I scratched all night.
     It must have looked a frightful sight.

The Peanut Pumpkin Bubblegum
Got tangled up inside my tum.
     An ambulance was quickly called
     And doctors were all quite appalled.

A surgeon came and scratched his head.
'It’s a miracle that she’s not dead!
    Bubblegum could likely prove
    Quite a hard thing to remove.'

I’m glad to say that I’ve survived!
I’m home again and still alive,
    But  have to tell you Mr Bleezer,
I want no more ice cream from your freezer!

Copyright on all my poems



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