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Funny Poems
By Josie Whitehead

Trip Denouncer - Heading .jpg


(The Worst B&B)

By Josie Whitehead

Trip Denouncer

‘Let’s have a break for just two days,’

     My husband said to me.

‘I’ll find us something nice,’ said he:

      ‘A cosy B&B.’


Ah, yes, it all looked very fine:

     A really ‘comfy’ place -

With pretty little flowerbeds

      And windows dressed with lace.


But behind those lacy window panes

     Lay a B&B from hell!

You knew that something wasn’t right

      When you inhaled the smell.


‘Disgusting’ was the word I’d use,

     With filthy walls and floor,

And left inside the toilet pan

      Was something you’d abhor!!


The bedroom stank of cigarettes;

    The windows were fast closed

And, underneath the bed, guess what -

     Was something decomposed!


The room we’d booked was freezing cold:

      No heater was in sight

And when I sat upon the bed

     I had a dreadful fright –


For it collapsed upon the floor

     And down I went as well.

You’d think that I’d been seized by wolves

      If you had heard my yell!


With both our cases still unpacked,

      We fled that B&B,

And who went home to their own bed?

       For certain it was ME!


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