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JOSIE'S POEMS
Funny Poems
By Josie Whitehead

THE TRIP DENOUNCER
(The Worst B&B)
By Josie Whitehead
‘Let’s have a break for just two days,’
My husband said to me.
‘I’ll find us something nice,’ said he:
‘A cosy B&B.’
Ah, yes, it all looked very fine:
A really ‘comfy’ place -
With pretty little flowerbeds
And windows dressed with lace.
But behind those lacy window panes
Lay a B&B from hell!
You knew that something wasn’t right
When you inhaled the smell.
‘Disgusting’ was the word I’d use,
With filthy walls and floor,
And left inside the toilet pan
Was something you’d abhor!!
The bedroom stank of cigarettes;
The windows were fast closed
And, underneath the bed, guess what -
Was something decomposed!
The room we’d booked was freezing cold:
No heater was in sight
And when I sat upon the bed
I had a dreadful fright –
For it collapsed upon the floor
And down I went as well.
You’d think that I’d been seized by wolves
If you had heard my yell!
With both our cases still unpacked,
We fled that B&B,
And who went home to their own bed?
For certain it was ME!
Copyright on all my poems