F u n n y P o e m s
By Josie Whitehead
GOD, SAVE ME FROM THEM ALL
By Josie Whitehead
Save me from the *ostentatious;
Those *pretentious; those *audacious.
The blasphemous and vulgar-tongued -
A label not just for the young.
The greedy rich and idle poor –
Yes, lots of them you can be sure;
Those who sit all day and drink:
'Another whisky please,' chink chink.
Those who like to bully others,
Seeking weak spots in another.
Those who hide behind their screens -
The cyber-bullies sly but mean.
Those who carry chips on shoulders,
Whose inner anger staunchly smoulders.
The ones for whom I have most pity:
Those who serve on church committees.
Those whose envy knows no end.
Who would want them as a friend?
Those *who're mantic, those *pedantic,
Bred to drive a vicar frantic!!
The fat the thin the short, the tall!
Oh save me, Father, from them all!
But . . . God, I’ve something to *profess:
(Shh!) - - I'm far from perfect, I confess.
Copyright on all my poems
*Ostentatious: Always showing off to impress others. Too full of themselves for their own good.
* Pretentious: In short, show-offs; full of themselves and boring to others.
* Audacious: Showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks. 2. Showing an impudent lack of respect. The first definition sounds rather positive/approving, while the second one is negative/disapproving. (I am referring to the second type).
*Mantic: Those who claim to have the gift of divine prophecy.
* Pedantic: 'Pedantic' describes a particular kind of annoying person. Someone who's too concerned with literal accuracy or formality. It's a negative term that implies someone is showing off book learning or trivia, especially in a tiresome way.
* Profess: - : to declare or admit openly or freely : AFFIRM
Note: Pedantic: I am thinking of a man from our church (ex headmaster) who, when I wrote: 'The Best Donkey of Them All' - a story about the little donkey who took Mary to Bethlehem, told our children: 'There is no donkey in the Christmas story in the Bible.' I said: 'Well how did he think that Mary travelled to Bethlehem if not on a donkey?' Surely poor Mary didn't walk all that way prior to having her baby? Oh oh oh!!! Pedantic man! - Josie